A small reusable mini muffin cup resting on a pale hand. In the background are many more placed upside down, slightly damp, drying from being just washed.

The Magic of Silicone Baking Cups (& How Making Mini’s Has Helped Me With Portion Control)

I’ve loved making mini muffins since I’ve started doing meal prepping and doing portion control. They’re so satisfying to eat, in one or two bites. Plus they’re just cute! Let me have cute foods, it’s just the best. Since I’ve realigned my mindset about food this year, I’ve been paying more attention to how the food tastes and nourishes my body instead of how it looks. When I feel like putting in that effort as a little treat to myself, mini muffins have been the go to!

However, I try to be as eco friendly as possible. And mini muffin tins are the worst of the worst for cleaning out their metal wells. So I begrudgingly used paper liners for a while, but they don’t work for certain foods (mini omelettes in paper liners are gross, but prying cooked egg out of metal is even grosser 🤢). And I just hated the amount of waste that went along with them with how frequently I was needing more of them because of my freezing and prepping routine.

So, this week I wanted to make up a batch of pumpkin mini muffins, half to freeze for later in the month and half to eat for breakfasts and snacks of the next two weeks. (The family got a hold of these yesterday though, so I don’t think the freezing is going to happen 😂). My recipe ended up getting 62 minis, so they ended up around 50 calories a piece. I plan on having four for breakfasts with a small banana or apple and my iced almond milk (cold brew 😍) lattes!A small reusable mini muffin cup resting on a pale hand. In the background are many more placed upside down, slightly damp, drying from being just washed.These little babies are AMAZING.


My focus over the past few years is finding reusables to reduce our daily household disposable waste. I’ve known about these for a while, so every time I picked up paper muffin cups I felt BAD. I knew they’d be worth the investment but I was still nervous.

I’m happy to report: I was right.

They’re a brilliant investment (without a ridiculous price tag).

I know many people recommend adding additional time for silicone baking pans and the like, but because minis take so little time to bake I didn’t notice that at all. The recipe called for 13-15 minutes and I took them out at 15 and they were perfectly done. They also seem more moist than normal, but the top still has that iconic muffin top texture. All around, just what I love in a muffin.

And best of all, the clean up was amazing. I tend to leave my muffins to sit in the pan for up to 5 minutes so they can set and finish baking (as most recipes suggest). But as I was picking them up out of the pan, they just popped out of the case! 😲 No pulling, no ripped liners, no leaving half of the muffin behind in the case. And I didn’t even grease them! I tossed them in my mixing bowl with some hot soapy water, let them sit in the hot water for twenty minutes, and then they were clean. Because there was no crumb residue left behind from the muffins, they just needed to break down any left over oil from the batter. I agitated them a little bit in the hot water for my own sanity, and then rinsed them. SO EASY, and so worth it.

Here are my favourite ones**, the colours are cute and the price is so great for how amazing they are! I may get another batch of 48 to make soap cupcakes too ❤️

So yeah, minis are rad. Pumpkin Spice is rad. IT’S FALL, Y’ALL 🎃🎃🎃

(Anyone who hates on pumpkin spice just because it’s popular can suck my toe, and that’s the tea. It’s delicious and festive and in this near apocalyptic world we live in we need these little things to thrive! Get over it, just because girls like it doesn’t make it bad.)

And anyways, next on the agenda is mini omelettes, I’m ready to conquer those little devils 😈

Happy Fall, loves! 🍂

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**Amazon affiliate link.


I’m Losing Weight, but I’m Still Depressed… What Gives?

mfp streak
shout out to myfitnesspal, i wouldn’t be here without you! *princess wave*

Since December 1st, I’ve been focusing on tracking my daily water intake.

Since January 1st, I’ve been focusing on tracking my daily food intake, and preparing meals that improve the quality of my life instead of weighing me down.

Since February 1st, I’ve been focusing on weighing myself and tracking my weight (at least weekly).

Simply by paying attention to what’s going into my body, I’ve lost weight.

In the past two months, I’ve incorporated light exercise. (Shoutout to Leslie Sansone with her amazing Walk at Home workouts. They may be designed for the elderly but hell if I mentally feel good enough to do more than that. In the very least, I feel good enough to do these and feel accomplished in what I’m doing and I keep going back to them).

Technically, I’m actively losing weight.

So why am I still depressed?

I’m not doing this for anyone else. Not to dramatically grasp at more time with my kids or my spouse like they do on the weight loss shows. If I die tomorrow, so be it. I will go when I’m meant to go.

I started watching shows like that when I was probably seven years old. An overweight seven year old. It made it seem like if you lost weight, you could make it all disappear. Either subliminally or purposefully the weight truly represented all the stress, the anger, the pain of the world. Losing that excesss baggage would transform you into a different person, a person who loved Zumba or ate beetroot everyday.

Honestly, the only way I feel different is that I’m annoyed.

All of my comfy shirts are too big and I’m too cheap to buy new ones right now.

How annoying.

Something I realized though, even though I’m not doing this for anyone else, if someone saw me on the street they’d probably think “wow, they must be really unhealthy.” But this is the healthiest I’ve ever been. I’ve worked hard to feel as good as I do.

I’ve never been particularly insecure about my weight in the past. I’m obese. That’s a part of life for me.

I was discussing with my mother the other day how odd it is that the straight sizes in clothing stores are “SMALL-MEDIUM-LARGE-EXTRALARGE”. How demeaning is that? Obviously that’s how it is, I’m not saying the entire fashion industry should change tomorrow.

But for all of my life, I’ve just been a number. Plus size clothes are somehow more honest in that way. Maybe that’s why straight sized women are so scared to have to go up a size, the insecurity forced upon them by the SML sizing. Do they not realize there’s an entire ‘nother world on the other side? It’s honestly getting cooler every day. Plus size fashion is a socioeconomic statement, it means so much more than “I wish I was still a medium 🙎😞”. It says, “I’m living my life without repression. I deserve fun clothes that actually fit me.”

I watched my mother eat disorderly my entire childhood. She deprived herself physically and mentally, and worse she did it for other people. She did it to somehow make things better in her mind. To keep her husband from calling her fat or lazy when they fought. She is still eating disorderly 20 years into my life. She will never be at peace with the thing she uses to fuel her body.

I don’t ever want to become that person. Being fat is a part of me. It’s part of my heritage, my ancestry. It’s connected to my mental health, and my family’s mental health history. It’s part of my environment, my socioeconomic status. As long as I can get a meal at McDonald’s for less than groceries it will always be unfair and unhelpful to ask, “why are poor people getting fat?”

You know why.

I am fat.

I am depressed.

I am angry.

I am beautiful.

I am joyful.

I am peaceful.

They are all one in the same because they all make up me.

I don’t intend to ever change that about myself.

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Wannabe Artist | Creativity vs Artistry, Psychology Behind My Art Envy, and Impostor Syndrome

I am not an artist.

I have never been drawn to traditional art, except when I was 12 and thought I magically would be able to paint masterpieces after watching too much Bob Ross. Yes, at 12 I was watching lots of Bob Ross. No judgment!! BR was an utter gift to this world and his soft quiet encouraging voice was exactly what I needed to be watching at that age. I still tear up when I hear that “happy painting, and god bless” at the end of an episode because of how much helped me when I really needed it.

Art effects me emotionally, as you can tell.

The most art I’m exposed to on a regular basis is my online friends’ (usually digital) pieces, along with other random people I follow for their art. Most of this is fanart, but any time I see originals I am enthralled by how creative an artist can be.

(some recent inspiration for you)






JORGE JIMENEZ FOR DC – Nightwing #37

(this piece has been my phone background for probably two months and i’m still deathly obsessed with it)

Art combines abilities I don’t have with creativity I like to think I have. Creativity is hard for me to explain (and I’ve tried before). Creativity makes me happy. Creation makes me happy, but it is not who I am. I wish it was.

When I say, “I write” I don’t mean that I am a writer. I wish I was. Not for the connotation, the label or the recognition, but for the idea that I could possibly belong to a community. I pass from hobby to hobby and circle back because I like psychology. What makes people tick is everything to me. Compassion, capitalism, and conversation is swirled in every community regardless of if that community is based in creation or common interest.


Film, TV, Music, Traditional Art, Digital Art & Graphic Design, Physical Creations, Fiber Arts.

reusable, handmade, functional, homemade, natural, 100% organic.


I will say, after gaining over a year’s worth of continuous experience, I’m just starting to become comfortable with the idea that I might be a seamstress. I’ve been sewing daily for over a year, nearly a year and a half.

I am creating things, sure.  But there’s something there that makes me struggle to realize that there’s any creative connotation to what I do. And I think that’s okay, it’s creative enough for their to be pride in my creation in the end. Does mixing textiles and formats and projects change enough to make me a creative? I highly doubt that this is the truth.

I am arranging things, materials, to create a final product. Every error sticks out to me, every detail that I would have done differently. I guess my art is a one shot kind of art, one chance, one opportunity, so you have to live with the outcome. It seems rough, but it makes it all that much sweeter when it comes out perfectly. No matter how much I wish I had unlimited materials, time, money, everything so I could just do what I love.

Hobbies are still airborne for me. I read. I write. I soap. I sew.

I wish I did more creative endeavours, but there’s this little brain worm hanging out that says it would be a waste of time. That I could never be talented enough to succeed at any of them. Too much of my self worth hangs in what I do for others, and I know that. Like some odd circular pattern relating to my need for validation, and my need to be seen as worthy by society. Oddly enough, I have labels for why I feel this way, and yet it doesn’t change how I feel.

Impostor’s Syndrome.

Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. “

We can battle all day over success, how success is in the eye of the beholder. But I think that’s why success makes me anxious, and I’d rather think that I’m an impostor than successful in any way. Someone thinking that I’m successful in a creative field just makes it worse, gives me terrified expectations for what I should be.

Sometimes I wish I could just exit stage left on creativity. Creativity can be rewarding, but it’s also terrifying. An expectation that I don’t want on my shoulders. And lord knows that expectations are the last thing I want.

Being surrounded by art makes me feel fulfilled, happy, and connected, and yet, there is nothing more demoralizing knowing that I will never be able to create something as gorgeous. And it’s always ‘as’ this and ‘than’ that. For all of us who are still clinging to their conversational Spanish for their love of the language, some sort of self validation in that, and are desperately using duolingo to maintain it, that is what we call a comparison of inequality!

Spanish Dict

Let’s just say, regardless of the language, this train of thought is pretty negative for those who are on the “less than” end of that spectrum, whether it’s self imposed or not. I need to think more in comparisons of equality, to be honest. Bring on the tan and tanta, please! I’m ready!

And, related, I’m working on digging myself out of a pretty deep depressive hole at the moment. This is pure depression, by the way. Internal, angry yet dissociative, depression. I haven’t figured out how to deal with this in a healthy way because this is really one of the only times I’ve felt this way. My best friend described this as “climbing the hill”, but I don’t think that’s accurate for me. It’s more like climbing to a plateau, or digging out of a hole. I think that’s those expectations again. I don’t have any expectations for me mentally, because that makes the fall worse. I want to be at a 5 on the mental balance scale. Right in the middle, not at zero horrible and not at ten perfect. Average. I think that’s what I deserve, as a human just trying to be a functional being.  Speaking of scales, I really relate to the quote, “If I’m not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, I’m crying,” except I’m more like 4 and 6. If I’m feeling something, I’m crying. Which is a great indicator, because when I’m actually depressed, I don’t cry!

So yeah, putting expectations on creativity and the creative themself is fucked up and I hate it. It makes me feel utterly terrible. Give me a baseline and I’ll meet it. I can do that. But if you expect me to reach 110% like an Olympian, you may want to move on. I am way past unrealistic, motivational public school posters. Even aiming for 110% is an unachievable goal, and will only cause harm.

At the same time as they were preaching “give it your all and then more!!” they were at the same time preaching “make SMART goals, things that you can do in small obtainable steps”. Seems a little counter intuitive to me… But isn’t the entire school system that way?

Anyways, I just wanted to release so feelings, some food for thought into the universe, no matter how negative they may seem. I genuinely have no idea how much of it made sense. That’s okay 🙂 Today’s love is this mashup, I listened to it the entire time and it helped me from getting too crazy pants over the subject matter. I wish you all the happiness in your journey. Love and Light.

How To: Make Melt & Pour Base into a Liquid Gel Soap

Okay, I did an experiment last night and I have the results to show you today. Long term we’ll have to do a check in BUT I would definitely consider this a success as of now.  LIQUID SOAP. It’s a controversial topic in the melt and pour community.

I love it, and I use it just as much as my soap bars (if not a little less now that i’m actually making my own). However, I have a friend that utterly refuses to use anything but liquid, and she’s been nagging me to buy a liquid soap base for months. Well, I ain’t about to do that if I can make it myself, I’ve got 50 lbs of goats milk melt and pour to use!

So I did a little digging, and all of the “make bar soap into liquid soap” articles are about premade commercial bars of soap grated up. Soooo… I winged it. Just did a small batch, but it ballooned into a great big amount very quickly. It’s truly just as easy as M&P, if not easier if you don’t include waiting time. So here we go, here’s how I made liquid soap from M&P.

You will need:
– 4 oz [115 grams] Melt & Pour Soap Base (I used Goat’s Milk, but I imagine a clear base would make gorgeous transparent / translucent soaps!)

– 2 cups /16 fl oz [475 mls] Water  (I used purified and distilled).

– 2-3 tablespoons [30-45 mls] Nourishing, Liquid at Room Temp, Oil (I always add sweet almond, jojoba and vitamin E to my M&P, but olive works as well).

Preservatives like Optiphen at a 1% usage rate is an optional addition for those who want to sell a liquid soap like this. Because of the high water concentration, many are more secure in using them in home formulations as well. I don’t personally because I don’t sell my soaps, and we go through soap very quickly here. The choice is up to you!

– 5 ml Fragrance or Essential Oil (I based this on the 1% rule, 20 oz liquid = ~590 mls. You could up the FO to as much as 8-10 mls for this amount, but I wanted to be safe for my first round).

– Soap Colorants. I find liquid dyes work best for this unless you’re going to color with mica right at the beginning when melting the M&P. If not, stick to liquid. About 20 drops of combined purple, red, and blue made for a nice deep yet still pastel purple. Liquid dyes will show up more densely in a clear soap base, while white bases will almost always end up pastel.

Nothing more frugal than reusing soap bottles ehh?

1. Set your measured water on to boil. I used my electric kettle (which I think every American household should have, but I digress). A pot on the stove should be just as well. Must be at a barely rolling boil, and you should synchronize this with your melt and pour.

2. Microwave your melt and pour in 30 second bursts in a microwave safe container (Pyrex measuring cups 4 lyfe) until well melted. Mine was full melted in 30 seconds for this amount, but just barely, so I heated it for another twenty to get a bit of heat unto it. DO NOT OVERHEAT YOUR MELT AND POUR. Especially goats milk M&P. It smells gross, it looks gross, it is gross. And I don’t care what anyone says, you cannot salvage burnt melt and pour. If you’re using mica colorants, now is the time to add them, just mix your mica with some rubbing alcohol before incorporating.

3. Add your nourishing oils to your M&P and stir to well incorporated. I’d imagine if you’re making a large batch of this, you may need to reheat after adding a large amount of room temp oils. I didn’t need to!

4. Get yourself ready, and temper a small amount (half a cup ish) of your just boiling water into your M&P. You want to be pretty much continuously stirring. I just using a large kitchen eating spoon, anything apart from a whisk will work. Once it is incorporated you can continue adding in your water. Fully incorporate your water. I cannot emphasize this enough, the gel will not form if there are pockets of unincorporated oil or M&P.

5. Leave to cool for about 20 minutes. Stir once more before leaving overnight (or 6-8 hours). Don’t touch it, don’t stir it, don’t move it. This can be so tempting so I suggest you do this project in the evening and let sit to gel overnight. You can cover with cling film with a few small holes poked in it if you’re concerned. There needs to be some spaces in the film for a bit of the water to evaporate.

6. In the morning, you should notice that your soap has gelled into a pudding / gelatin like consistency. Don’t be alarmed! I was laughing the first time I experienced this (“Did someone replace my soap with Vanilla pudding??”). But no, all is not lost! Bring in a traditional kitchen whisk (after playing with it a while, because it’s hella fun omg), and it will become a nice liquid soap texture. The more you whisk, the foamier it will be. If you prefer a foaming hand soap, continue whisking as you would an egg white to create foam for meringues. Stop when you want to. The texture is truly up to you! I created a foamed version and a minimally mixed one and it both turned out fine in terms of texture. The minimally mixed made bigger bubbles when in use, but the foamy one turned into a nice foam lather. Both nice, it depends on what you’re into!

7. As you’re whisking, now’s the time to add in your liquid soap dye and fragrance! Like mentioned above, I added some blue, red, and straight purple to make a nice well rounded purple. For fragrance, I used Luna from Maple Street Candle. Amazing scent that I’ve loved for years, I’m so happy that Maple Street carries it, as I love their company and their $8 shipping on FOs and dye (not sponsored but I’m hyped about my new oils so I had to).

8. Pour into your bottle of choice! I had to refill one of our soap dispensers anyways, so I used that, and I had a whole 16 oz leftover for whatever I want to do with it (aka I had to sacrifice an old water bottle to the soap gods because I had no where to put the rest bc i wasn’t prepared for how much this makes tbh!!). Will be getting some pump bottles asap, as well as a new oil percentage so I can transform this from a hand soap to a body soap. There’s nothing wrong with this, you can totally use it as body wash, I just prefer something a bit more specifically creamy and moisturizing… Hmmm, further formulations are already whirring in my head.

Helpful videos:

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# 2 Example, Whisking to form set soap into a liquid gel.

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Some notes:
– This soap is only as good as your own M&P, so invest in a nice Melt and Pour base and it will make for an awesome soap!
– The one thing I wish I had on hand was a fine mica shimmer. It would look gorgeous in a hand soap like this, but I don’t think my rugged farmer / automechanic type father would appreciate shimmer in his hand soap. Masculinity y’all. But it’d be gorgeous!
– If your soap doesn’t gel with 8-10 hours (I haven’t had this happen, but I figure if your amounts are off, or you’re using a particularly odd M&P base it might), you can try tossing it in the microwave to heat it up to a pure liquid. Melt a bit more M&P, and reincorporate. This whole process reminds me a bit of jam making, but much much more forgiving in the end. Keep working with it until you can get it to gel.
– I do recommend making a small 4 oz test batch with your particular M&P base before making a large amount. I find these amounts pretty reliable for a nice test batch for the house or for a gift.

$5.95 per 2 lbs Premium Goats Milk Soap Base. $2.98 per 16 oz pound, or 74 cents per batch of liquid soap.
(I paid $48.95 per 24 lbs Premium Goats Milk Soap Base. $2.04 per 16 oz pound divided by 4 oz = 51 cents per batch.)

Fragrance oils are from the 20 1 oz sampler for $26 at MSCC, or $1.30 per piece. I used 5 ml, or 1/6th of a bottle, as 1 oz = 30 ml. Cost: 22 cents.

Colorant is priceless in my case because I only used about 20 drops and I didn’t make any sort of dent in any of my colorant samples. I recommend the Stained Glass sampler from Wholesale Supplies Plus. $4.95 for what seems like a sea of colors, with enough to make plenty of soapy fun?? Worth it. Toss it in your cart at WSP, you won’t regret it!

I’m not gonna be pricing oils, because I always have olive oil on hand for cooking, and that makes just as good of a soap product. In collecting things for soap making, over time you end up with lots of difference oils. You can experiment with the formula, but you definitely don’t have to if you don’t want to.

I paid under $1 to make over 24 ounces of liquid soap. The same amount of JR Watkins hand soap is nearly $5 at my local grocer, and that amount of Bath and Body Works gentle foaming hand soap would be $18 and 5o cents. It’s worth it, especially when it’s a craft I love making!

If you are already into Melt and Pour Soap making, I implore you to try a recipe like this one. It’s so fun to try new things, I’m kinda surviving off of the “Try New Things!” mentality right now! It was super fun, and made an awesome result. That’s all I can ask for! ❤

Scentsationals // Fall 2017 First Wax Picks

Heya! I grabbed some of the new Scentsationals Fall 2017 wax melt line, these are my first picks and thoughts!


Gorgeous apple and pastry scent! On warm, there is a bit less cinnamon spice to it than on cold sniff. The apple and pie crust come out beautifully! Traditional apple pie scent without the punch of cinnamon (my preferred bakery).

Pumpkin Marshmallow Cream ~ 3.5/5 ~ AVERAGE FOR A PUMPKIN SCENT.

If you love marshmallow fluff and pumpkin together, you will die for this! This isn’t as intensely spicy as most pumpkin pie spice scents. It’s a warm sweet pumpkin.


This scent is the one that completely surprised me with how good it is, normally I would have just glanced over it. This scent is like if you combined an apple orchard with a pumpkin patch (without any dirt notes). There is no spicey cinnamon, and the apple isn’t sickly sweet. Just nice, almost clean, fresh apple and carved pumpkin.

So those were my first round picks! I may end up picking out a few more later on in the year, but for now this is it! These are my must haves for the fall 2017 line, for sure. 😊🍂

Body Hair, Preconceived Notions & Femininity

This post came about because of a blog post written for Glamour magazine (there is explicit discussions about sexuality in this article and how it’s intertwined with body hair, so it’s definitely nsfw, but a GREAT read if you’re comfortable with that). This post was also written because of the subsequent discussion from it after it was posted in one of my cloth pad and RUMPs Facebook groups. I found it super interesting and almost enlightening how open and honest people with vulvae can be about something purely personal to them. So cool! But that’s probably just my thing, I love learning about things regarding the female reproductive system (stemming from a life of struggle with my own 😂)! But anyways, here we go, get ready for a (not so wild) ride on my opinions, my experiences, and an overview on the interactions between body hair and femininity!
originalblueI recently told my best friend of eight years that I have never shaved my legs. We grew up together, having met in sixth grade, and she had never noticed my leg hair until we moved in together and she was laying on them looking for it. She was surprised, to a degree I was not expecting, and even said she was jealous. I was blessed in this life with super thin barely there body hair so I got really lucky in terms of modern societal expectations, but I also believe that someone who has quadruple the density of body hair compared to me should have the same ability to not shave and still not be ridiculed for that choice.

I have such sensitive skin, I have never been able to find a deodorant that my underarm skin doesn’t react to to some degree. Not like, “just a light itch”, more like blistering burning incredibly painful rash that I would scratch at in my sleep. Even before I wore deodorant, I would get heat rashes under my arms and in the creases of my elbows and knees. That’s not something I ever ever want to mess with.

I have a super low pain tolerance (waxing any part of my body was and will never be an option), and my personal hatred for shaving is ever present so there aren’t really many options. Not to mention, I really don’t want to! I never even got a shaving or period talk from my parents, not even just the facts, so I’m kinda messed up in terms of societal expectations. I just… don’t care!

My mother and I have a close friend that insists that women HAVE to shave their armpits and pubic hair for “cleanliness”, that there is something that makes women different from men that forces them to NEED to do it. But that comes off to me like a disposable pad or tampon or douche commercial from the 80s. Like, “feeling not so fresh?”. Sure…

(p.s. about that ad, no modern doctor would ever “recommend” putting vinegar in your vagina, oh my god. how to majorly throw off the pH of your body 101. We have learned more about the human body since 1981, believe it or not.)

We know the scientific purpose and benefits of body hair, but we also have the ability to effectively and safely remove it. It is a personal choice that adults should be able to make. As long as said body hair isn’t causing harm to you or impacting your person, I’m fine. Judge me all you want, only I can control how “clean” I am. Like, that “shaving = cleanliness because women are different biologically” is a pretty staunch post-WWII era belief, when most women were forced back out of the workforce and into more traditionally feminine jobs and housewifery. During the war and before, shaving was not 75% of what it is now. Just like the rise in disposable feminine products, imagine how much the body hair removal industry makes off of feminine insecurity created by societal expectations and preconceived notions.

It’s okay to shave for a partner as long as they aren’t making you do it (which is unhealthy in general) or making you feel bad about your body because of your body hair. If you are in that situation, here are some things to remember:

Your body hair is there for a reason, your body wouldn’t grow it if it was inherently gross or unclean. Maintain good overall hygiene and there’s nothing to worry about. Body hair will always be a trendy topic, and there’s nothing wrong with experimenting or never even touching it. As an adult human, be conscious of your own self worth and your ability to make decisions for yourself regardless of others. Know that your body is the one thing you will always have, and will always be in. It’s your body, and yours alone. Own it, take care of it, and be your best version of yourself for you.

Makeup Revolution // Ultra Contour Kit | Review & Swatches on Fair Skin

This contour palette is $15. I got it for $7.50 on BOGO 50% off from Ulta + Ebates Cash Back. Amazing price, just off the bat. Most people who are interested in Makeup Revolution products are concerned with price and are looking for alternatives to modern high end products.

({ I would know, I specifically bought their Kat Von D S&L Eye dupe because I really wanted the warm quad and I couldn’t justify the $45 price tag. 😂

And I’m not gonna dance around this, I really enjoy this palette! There is such an incredible value for money here. Nothing is chalky, nothing is hard to use. For the almost sub-drugstore price this has (at BOGO 50% off), that is impressive (Looking at you Revlon, you should be ashamed of those face palettes, you can do so much better at that price point, this is proof).

There were a few different things because of my skin tone and preferences that doesn’t work perfectly. But I can make everything work, which is what matters!

Highlighter Swatches

Now, I am incredibly pale. I look best with a white or a light champagne highlight, but I can work with all of the shades in this palette.

The first shade is a lovely easy peasy undereye setting powder that matches my skin tone really well. It has a neutral to pinky undertone. It would be an amazing slightly brightening shade for any one beyond my extreme fairness / of  a light medium or deeper complexion (I’m NC15 – 17 from Mac most of the time). I use this most days when I just want to set down my Catrice Liquid Camo concealer lightly when I need it to last. And it’s brilliant.

The second shade is… yellow. And this comes with the “contour palette” stereotype, but it just is too dark for me to use on top of makeup. But occasionally when I’m not doing full makeup looks but want a little something, I’ll pop this on top of my undereye to do a bit of correction and lighten the look of my undereye circles. In that way, it definitely works.

The third shade is a highlight. Yes, you read that correctly. On my skin in a swatch it looks a little bit ridiculous, but it does give for a natural highlighted effect. BUT, I still prefer my Essence Pure Nude Highlight for a natural look because this particular pan of product is a bit too glittery for my preferences. However, when applied wet, this pan works amazing for that effervescent shiny sheer eyeshadow look that I really enjoy. Not quite the intended purpose, but I do get quite a bit of everyday use out of it (and isn’t that the point)?

The final highlight is a hardcore concentrated white highlight. And I will say, it works. It looks like highlight and is great for a night out. I tend to use this as an inner corner highlight on my eyes. I will say, it’s not a continuous creamy powder (is that an oxymoron?), because of the glitter to it.

The three contour shades are a bit harder to differentiate, but there is a difference in the tones. I like mixing together multiple pans on my brush to create a balanced / neutral feel on my face (not overly cool or overly warm). I will say, it is missing an overtly cool toned shade that most pale people use for very defined contouring, but for everyday wear this array of colors is totally appropriate.When I rub these powders between my thumb and my fingers they don’t just flake off, they blend well and feel buttery smooth. Pigmentation varies a bit between the three matte shades, but regardless of strong pigmentation or not, they all show up well on my skin and are easy to apply and blend out.

The first shade is what I’d describe as the neutral to warm matte bronzer of the three. This is a gorgeous everyday casual “warm it up” bronzer for me. I tend to tap a kabuki brush into it and blend it lightly in broad strokes in all the standard contouring zones when I do a full face of makeup. It gives a very “put together” look without looking extreme on my pale skin.

The second shade is the coolest matte brown of the three, it runs neutral to slightly cool. For me, it has plenty pigmentation to it for “everyday” contouring (defining the hollows of the cheeks, the uppermost hairline, and beneath the chin and jawline), but it might not be able to go to some extremes that you may be interested in if you enjoy stage / Instagram style makeup.

The third shade is the purest matte warm bronze. However, I am happy to report that it doesn’t pull orange on my skin. However, Benefit Hoola doesn’t look orangey on me, and I find that if I combine the third and first shade it combines to make a pretty solid dupe. Yes, the third shade is more pigmented than the first two, but I don’t struggle with application or skipping on my skin.

The fourth shade is… a shimmery bronzer. And as a pale skinned person, this really doesn’t have much value for me. It just doesn’t look natural on my face, and it usually ends up with me picking glitters off my face throughout the day. It has a slightly shimmery texture, like the third highlighter, but it isn’t as chunky / dry as the other marbled  and baked fourth highlighter shade. I can work it as an eyelid shimmer pop just like the third highlight shade, and it looks quite pretty! If you are of a medium skin tone, I think you would be able to get more use out of it than I do!

Overall, I really love this palette and I’ve used it every time I’ve put on makeup since I got it! I used to use the elf Contour Kit frequently, but I’ve just grown out of it. The shade variety and user friendly aspects to this palette are brilliant. I enjoy applying these powders, and I think anyone of a fair – medium skin tone would too!

Have a lovely day! 😊😊

My Seasonal Depression & Contradictions in Mental Illness

I am an anxious person. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and OCPD at nine years old. This means that my mind is constantly running at 110, even if it looks like it isn’t.

However, every so often, my mind will go blank, the fatigue will set in, and I have to remind myself that I need to do things like eat, drink water, and shower.

Yes, I’m talking about seasonal depression. Not the cutesy tumblr winter blues (don’t come for me, I love tumblr, but it all can have incredibly skewed views on mental illness), the true Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD, as it’s appropriately named). Except, I have never felt flat out sad because of SAD, so it’s a bit of a contradiction.

2quirky4me, sigh.

In fact, the whole idea of seasonal depression didn’t quite mesh with me when I was first informed of the idea of it. I had experienced strong reactionary depression before to certain traumas, but nothing like this.

It came out of nowhere. I’m the type of person who felt very comfortable labeling myself as a sufferer of severe anxiety, (or someone who was challenged with severe anxiety, as my friend’s therapist insists upon phrasing it).

But anxiety in itself was a contradiction to depression, in my mind. How could I actually have anxiety severe enough to consider it a disorder if I became depressed to the point of not caring enough to recognize my ongoing anxiety? It swirled around in my head like a whirlpool, at a time when I really shouldn’t have been analyzing my mental health issues.

I’ve been able to realize why it affects me the way it does a bit more clearly, now that I’ve had the time to analyze it while not being afflicted with it over the years.

I live in a place where we have very defined seasons, mostly when considering Winter and Summer. Often, Autumn and Spring are super short, barely lasting a month. My SAD affects me most often Summer going into Autumn, as the temperatures turn cold. When I was in school, it affected me more when the Winter transitioned into Spring. And last Summer I had it happen when we were turning the AC on and off “every other day”. That made me realize a little more of how it was a mental reaction to a physical situation, and it started to make more sense.

So, during these very short transitional periods in the weather, I get extremely fatigued and mentally just weak. Occasionally, on really bad days, I get lovely “behind the eyes” migraines when I literally just have to chug water and Tylenol and sleep. In general, I cannot concentrate, and I often spend time just phased out during the day. The thing about that it is normally when I daydream or don’t concentrate on what’s happening around me, it’s my anxiety making itself known to me. My mind running 110, as I like to describe it.

With SAD, there’s nothing.

I feel the need to do… nothing.

I wait it out, and use the periods when it isn’t hitting me as hard to do as much as I can.

But motivation is so hard to find when there isn’t anything there. When nothing feels like it matters or will ever matter again.

And believe me, seasonal depression is no joke when you realize you’re feeling it. Because it just makes you angry that you can’t snap out of it. And in my case, it kicks in my anxiety.

“Why aren’t you strong enough?”

“You have so much you could be doing!”

“You have to do that now! Everyone is relying on you, you have to succeed!”

“Just do it, there’s nothing stopping you.”

But my anxiety is wrong. My Seasonal Affective Disorder is stopping me, berating me, making everything harder for me. And there’s no shame in it. I shouldn’t have to ignore it, to fight it, for it to be valid. It’s a part of me like my dry skin or my bad posture (since I quit choir years ago). Just because they aren’t positive things doesn’t make them the end of my world, or the world.

The thing about mental health issues is that they don’t care if they don’t make sense to you.

You can live your entire life mentally ill not understanding why you have it, or how or why it affects you the way it does.

And it’s scary. When they inflame, it feels like there’s nothing left to hang onto. To tether you.

But in the end, it passes. It changes, it metamorphosizes, it varies. Everyday.

Despair isn’t the only answer. It’s never the only answer. Because we are strong. We build ourselves up everyday, we face ourselves everyday. Even on days when we don’t want to move, to get out of bed, we think of how it would be if we were better. And that reinforces us. It gives us hope. And that’s all we need to face the struggle as it ebbs and flows.iinrxqx


This is my experience with SAD, of course, and there are tons of people who experience it a lot more severely than I do (even though I sort of downplayed it for the narrative’s sake here). I just thought it may be interesting to share it because I have a different experience with it because I have severe anxiety. They work in tandem and against each other in different ways for me than most.

Today’s Music Pick:

Hostage – Danrell X Småland

I love this type of song. Over the past few months, I’ve been going back to it over and over. The first 10 – 15 seconds has such a strong hook, and then it transitions into this softer easy listening type of vibe. It builds up to a strong chorus, and it’s mixed electronica with  pure vocals pulls me in like I’ve never really experienced before. So unique! As I’m listening to it, it sways past me with it’s easy listening vibe and then it’s over and I don’t know where the time went. All of the pieces fit together so well, almost too well, with how it just flows despite the contrasting styles. [ My Music Playlist ]

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Super Jennie vs Lunette // First Impressions & Comparisons

Otherwise titled, “I got my first new menstrual cup in nearly five years and I’m excited!”

I’ve used my old faithful, my orange Lunette small, for nearly five years now. It was my first foray into RUMPs (reusable menstrual products), and I still have liked it and used it incredibly consistently since Summer 2012.

So, after I prepped my new Super Jennie yesterday, I tried it out for overnight (dangerous game, I know, but I feel like my cycle has been super light the past day or two, so no worries, I think it’s about to end). I have a low cervix, as an FYI.

My Lunette 1 was the same firmness from rim to base, with prominent concentric circle grip rings. I removed the stem about 5 minutes into the experience with a cup, no way, I just don’t need it. Thinking back, it was a bit comical to me at the time how long the stem was, but it would be totally useful for people with high cervices who may struggle with removal.

SJ is nearly the exact same size in terms of body size, BUT it is less conical than the Lunette (comes to less of a point at the base). It’s more rounded out, like a true bell shape. I think I’ve enjoyed that, because it really hasn’t irritated anything like the prominent grip rings on the Lunette occasionally did (not enough for me to hate the cup or even dislike it, at all).

Just a note, it was so odd to feel a brand new cup. The Super Jennie’s medical grade silicone has a different feel to it than what I remember my Lunette feeling like when it was new. … How to explain it… the only way I can make sense of it is like comparing glossy magazine paper to matte photo paper. The SJ has an almost tacky slick finish on the silicone, where the Lunette was matte, no shine at all. The silicones both feel like good quality, just a different type.

Also, I’ve always had a nearly opaque cup in terms of color (my orange / Aine Lunette). This is a bit odd in terms of experiences (as many people start with a clear cup, like the Diva). It was so cool to see the Super Jennie maintain a pretty teal colour while still being translucent. Fun, different experience!

The Super Jennie seems to be firmer at the rim and softer at the base. Which is kinda like a double edged sword for me now, while I’m getting used to it! I can get it inserted, it pops open partially, but because I have to pull my cups down and push them back up into position around my cervix to activate the suction (low cervix problems), I’ve had to fandangle with the cup a little bit because the base is softer, and it takes me maybe two or three seconds more to get it back up into place. I think if the whole cup has the same softness as the base, I’d be out of luck, not able to use it at all, but the firmer rim really does it all for easier insertion.

Wear time was great, I really do feel the difference in ml capacity with the SJ, even if it is only around 7ml. It will totally be useful for heavy days! The rounded out bell shape is great, and I’ve even been able to keep the stem on! Ah! Because everything at the base of the cup is so squishy and soft, and the actual stem design is great (ball stems 4 life now!) it hasn’t irritated me at all.

All in all, I think the Lunette 1 is a lovely, reasonable, reliable beginner’s cup. I think the Super Jennie is a great option for those who are a bit more experienced with cups and know their bodies better. Both are good quality cups, but after using it for about 18 hours over the past two days (washed and reinserted this morning), the Super Jennie is feeling like my Goldilocks. 💙

p.s. I found this lovely video by Rosey at Rosey Reusables on YouTube as I was doing my research on the Super Jennie and I found it incredibly helpful from a nonbiased POV. My writeup, above, is about my personal experiences and impressions. While that can be helpful, it’s always great to have a nonbiased, fact based definition of the differences as well. 😄
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Full Face of Makeup for a Week “Challenge” + Foundation Routine

For someone who’s makeup obsession has been so real and so consistent over the past half decade, I really don’t wear makeup often enough! I have a small collection in comparison to most people who love makeup as much as I do, but every product I do own, I use and enjoy. Each product gets researched online for a considerable amount of time before it is purchased.

Truly, this is why I fell in love with makeup. I love reading, I love things (#materialism), and I love the voice that beauty bloggers can achieve. However, that isn’t me. I don’t really feel the need to collect makeup while enjoying makeup culture. No one is going to come up to me and say, “WHY DIDN’T YOU BUY THAT”.


As a person who has never been wealthy in any way, makeup culture is a fun thing to watch. It’s like a spectator sport meets a soap opera. Does anyone remember the Lorac MegaPro fiasco back in Holiday 2014? Damn, I may be someone that thrives off of positivity and a bubble of no drama around me IRL, but I love good old fashion makeup drama fest. And I don’t mean drama in between people, like fuck off Jeffree Star, idgaf. I mean like when companies fuck up or when things don’t live up to expectations or their price tag and the drama is 100% justified.

^^ For example, this video is by Zabrena (formerly MacShadowCombos). I love her, I’ve continued to watch her for years before and after this video. But this is like my favourite video from her. Like yas, SMACKDOWN Lorac. ^^


In general, makeup is interesting because it ties in with so many of my interests in themselves. It never crossed my mind to change my appearance using makeup. I never turned to makeup because I needed to wear it to feel confident in myself. Not to say that that’s wrong, if makeup is something that makes you feel more confident, that’s 100% fine. I’m all for crutches to help with your mental health on a day to day basis. (However, I am not self aware enough to have bad self esteem, I am who I am 😂).

This got a bit existential, but in terms of makeup, I am so freaking boring. Doing makeup in itself is fun for me, so it just doesn’t matter what the end result actually looks like. I got to really get down and dirty over this week and actually try out products and techniques that I haven’t felt up to in a while.

For example, the Rimmel Lasting Finish 25 Hr Foundation. It’s awesome! But alas, the second lightest shade, 101 Classic Ivory was too dark, and I ended up swapping for the lightest color in the line (which worked! Yay!). The more I try from Rimmel, the more I love their brand!

I also got to solidify my preferred foundation routine, which was totes fun. I have very few issues with my skin apart from redness (Germanic roots- grr), so I’m into color correcting. Not to mention how trendy it is, but I am not one for the extreme color correcting. It’s totally fun and creative, but I am not used to having that much product on my face, boo!

Image Credit // shefinds.com

I got to try out the NYX Color Correcting Concealer palette, which was amazing in it’s own right. I use the green between my brows, my forehead, my cheeks, and my chin. This may seem like liberal application, but I go slowly, and apply in the red areas as necessary. I combine the salmon and yellow under my eyes as I have both blue and purple toned undereye circles. I apply the purple around the rest of my face anywhere there’s dullness or overtly yellow areas. I then bump it all out with my Real Techniques Mini Eraser sponge one area at a time (undereye -> purple -> green).

For me, color correcting gives my face a more blank slate than if I were just to apply foundation directly. Foundation is next!

Image Credit // Ulta Beauty

I actively use the tinted moisturizer technique to make my foundation more natural looking, and feel better on the skin! I combine the same amount of foundation I would normally use and an equal amount of moisturizer (my favourite is the Garnier Clearly Brighter w/ SPF 15). I then paint it all over my face with a flat paddle foundation brush and bump it out with my Real Techniques Miracle Complexion sponge. The two liquids combine to make this nice beautiful skin like appearance that isn’t too dewy and isn’t completely matte. Aka, demi matte. God bless America.

Image Credit // thebeautyinbox.com

Then I pop the Catrice Liquid Camouflage Concealer in 010 Porcealain under my eyes to brighten them and cover the undereye corrector. I’ve also taken to applying this down the center of my face when I apply my contour and / or bronzer to create some more dimension to my face and it works lovely for that as well! (Though, I am tempted to get another in a shade lighter to make it even more visible).

Image Credit // PettyAir

I then set my undereye with the Rimmel Stay Matte Pressed Powder in Transparent. Because it’s great. But you probably already knew that! It’s amazing!

I don’t set my entire face with a full on layer of powder, but I will take a BIG fluffy face powder brush, tap lightly into my powder, and blend the powder all over my face. This is mostly just to take away the slight tack that my foundation mixture can leave behind. It helps with bronzer and blush application and keeps it from skipping across my skin. If I plan to use a cream cheek product, I will wait to set my face until after that is down and done!


I also got to experiment with false lashes this past week, but I think that is enough rambling for one blog post! It was fun to experience what it was like to have to wear makeup. However, by the end, I just felt the need to wear neutral makeup. It had taken a bit of the fun away, having to put it on. I understand why people who work in an office environment, or even the healthcare field, often wear such minimal makeup (having to wear it every single day, outside of appearance requirements).

Oh! And one final note, I got back to removing my makeup with melted coconut oil and I had zero issues with the texture or appearance of my natural skin changing. Thumbs up to coconut oil from me, I still love it years later. 😁

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